Project Desciption 

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Losing control is something we all have experienced. Now even
more than ever during Corona times. A lot of pressure is put on
us to reform our life’s and keeping control, when all the control
and decisions is out of your hands. How do we deal with loosing
the control over our own life?

Losing control in any form can be a stress trigger for some, and
we are all coping with these stress levels in different ways. But
these coping mechanisms can also occur physically, even in excessive
behavioural ways that can be self-destructive.
For me this shows in skin picking. I pick and scratch every uneven
part of my skin. In a weird way it makes me feel fulfilled, like
I made something perfect again. When I feel like I’m not being
productive enough, especially now, I start to look for unevenness
on my face and want to make it go away. It’s weird of course, because
I’m not making my skin any smoother than it was, I’m only
breaking it. It has become something I’m unaware of doing.

In order to let go of the stress and restlessness, I must actively
look for things that destress me. Especially now, water seems
to be a stress releaser for me. Every day I walk to places where I
can find water moving around freely. I often walk to the Maas in
my hometown Rotterdam, and whenever I can I visit the ocean.
When I’m near free waters, I can totally let go of this need to pick
and the stress that’s happening inside my head.

In this series I documented how my moments of stress gradually
get better while moving towards the water.